we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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