Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Can you bring me the toilet please
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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