marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
