Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
