I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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