fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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