as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize