is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
