You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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