My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
whose parrot is this?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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