Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
