I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
