Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The air was thick with penises
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
