Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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