We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I love having hate sex.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
