No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
third nipple confirmed
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
