My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I need water and some morals
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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