McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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