My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
