have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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