considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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