Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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