You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
