question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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