you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
