i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
