I like to think it a success when the cops are called
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
