In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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