Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Liz is crying about burritos again.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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