I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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