How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
