It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
