I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
