So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
