I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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