are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
