just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
