one two three fourrrrnication!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
