dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
