moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
