I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
