420 ftw
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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