Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
