I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
the day after is always just damage control
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
