As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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