Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
