I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
