thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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