its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
