plz talk dirty to me
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
