This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
