yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i love accidental penises.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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